Friday, July 30, 2010
Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a drill. This is not a test of your emergency broadcast system. This is Doctor Pavel Voynich Bloodlukov and I have hijacked the feed at Von Singer Aether & Steamworks! Haha! I am truly the most genius of evil genius types, da?
There is, how do you say? A plan in action. A plan to take over the world, but first! First I take over this site, this feed! I take over Von Singer's Aether & Steamworks and bend it to my diabolical will! Today this site, tomorrow the world!
Or at least, maybe sometime next week? I mean, it is the world, after all. It takes a certain amount of preparation to take over the world. . .
Regardless, my mission is simple-- from the day of my birth in the old country I have known that the only way to save the earth and all her people. . . is to destroy them all utterly! Brilliant, da? I thought so too. You can all thank me when you and your cities have been reduced to ashes.
I haven't really thought much about what I am going to do after my plan is complete. A destroyed and desolate world of ash-people is not very fun to dominate with an iron fist, so I may just give the whole thing a little more time to, how do you say. . . percolate? Undoubtedly the extra time will allow my plan to become even more perfect!
In the meantime though, perhaps I shall rule a small country (or at least this website) with an iron fist. That is always fun, especially when it comes to taxing the citizens and putting little rebellions to rest. Unions, pah! Workers are meant to work! Idle hands are the devil's playthings, da!?
And don't expect that simple fool Von Singer to unseat me anytime soon! I have secured myself within his Steamworks and changed all the passwords to his email accounts! Haha! He is powerless, and the world waits now in the rubberized palm of my gloved hand.
Waits. . . TO BE CRUSHED!!!
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